A few days ago I was followed by a heron and it reminded me of him - tall, seductive and bad news.

Whilst dancing on rooftops, drinking rum and drawing on people's faces a beautiful man that has troubled me greatly apologised with a sincerity I doubted he possessed. He was very interested in my theory that we were both slightly autistic. I told him that's why I gave him a book about a mute outcast. Some people's inabaility to communicate ultimatley drives them insane. He told me he was sorry, I told him that he smelled good. I lost two buttons from my shirt and eventually lost him. As usual, all this nonsense occured while he was half naked, in between bouts of him passing out and holding my hand. It was so good to see him.

I was happy to learn that another ridiculously unavailable man is living in up in St Lucia with the love of his life - apparently he bought new luggage just to impress her.

I think perhaps I am focusing on the resolution of the past because the present is a bit of a mess. But hope is offered in the fact that I'll probably figure it all out in about six months. My current preoccupation with a particularly handsome bastard will be annulled.

I wish there was a lido that I could visit. (Or even better, a tidal pool.) There would be nothing better today than visiting a splended outdoor pool. Wash away my sins during a quick swim in the sun. Unfortunately there isn't one for miles. There is one near my mother however, which I will make the effort to visit one day.

The new, and last ever, J Cash album is streaming on myspace. It's beautiful.

"They don't give awards, there's no praise or fame, for hearts that are broken, or love that's in vain"

So yes, you are the romantic fool that I always desired. But you are also the slightly defeated soul that I have decided not to attach myself to. Tell me about your internal affairs - I know too much about your devotion to another. All too well. What is it about your words that could possibly change my mind?

Start my weekend with a smile? Start your advance with some integrity and I might consider breakfast. You’ve got a beautiful face and cute conniving but it really isn’t enough. What you know can never be erased.

“Relationships are about compromise. I’m not prepared to compromise,” he said.

“Neither am I,” I replied.

Endless affairs. Don’t start wasting your time.

(Seeing as I've just stolen all his best lines I'd better give some credit to this ghostly man.)