Bothered

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I've held off posting this because it would of been indiscreet but (without me discussing it with anyone) everyone seems to be talking about it anyway, so it shall be unleashed........




I bent over to pick up my Gone with the Wind meets 50s bubblegum dress from the floor, toes pointed inwards, knees not really bent.

"Before you put your dress on, come back to bed for a moment."

Having spent all Sunday in his arms, snoozing, offering soothing, delicate rubs and laughing loudly about the party the night before it wasn't hard to do, although it was 5pm and I had to leave. It was just like a goodbye hug - nothing sexual happened at all the whole day. Work called and I leant on my stomach to speak to them. Then just as I turned around ready to get up he kissed me.

It was the most lingering, wildy erotic kiss I've ever had. Didn't know what to do with myself so put my Saturday night dress back on and probably made some unfunny joke - can't remember - it's all a bit of a blur apart from those brief moments between our lips.

He drove me home with the sunroof open, even though it was raining.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

One of the most startling images in the incredible story of The Devil and Daniel Johnston isn't even in the movie: a young guy from a christian punk band recalls his disbelief on spotting his hero being attacked by dogs in the street in sleepy Waller, Texas.

It reminded me of when I was a kid and my dog would attack people with learning difficulties, and people with conspicuous mental disturbance. She would stop and point to begin with, as we walked along the beach head, or maybe on the dim path through Witch Wood. Then hackles rising and a low growl from her throat, escalating as the source of fear approached. Rude dogs, leather-clad cruisers in the bushes, potential paedos; she never turned a hair, and yet I remember her running teeth bared at a little boy with Down's Syndrome as his terrified parents looked on. As always I managed to grab her and get her chain on before anything really terrible happened. It was a complete nightmare, and when I'd tell people about it they'd look at me in horror like the whole problem was a metaphor for some dreadful prej udice of my own that I was projecting onto my dog.

Of course it could have been that the dogs attacking Daniel were rabid or something, and maybe my dog was simply unpredictable; either way, lets face it the connection between the two cases is suspiciously tenuous. The christian punk outfit read a lot into the experience anyway, staying in Waller to record some Fuck Satan songs in their front room with Johnston. Before that they had been wondering why the hell they'd relocated there; now they know.

Thursday, May 11, 2006




Sailor's son of a sailor's son
Came into town to have a little fun
He's sunk ships
He's travelled the seas
He only wishes that he'd once met me

He burned all the books
that didn't include his name
He collected maps
that showed where I lay

He wants to build an empire
and make me a queen
It's such a shame
that I'll never leave the sea

Sailor's son of a sailor's son
His search for treasure has just begun
He's torched sails
He's sung prayers to the sea
He only wishes that he's once met me

He wants to discover what lies beneath
and to be the first to fathom me

One day his prayers were answered
Unforseen, he was buried at sea

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


So I received the parcel the book of illusions promised he'd sent some months ago, a belated birthday gift to make up for last year's; which, somewhat typically, never arrived.

Anyway, among the assortment of presents was this print called 'a burden named gareth'.

He also sent me some facts. For example, in the '70s, there was an unwritten rule among commuters on the Chuo train line in Tokyo, that women could grope men, but the men couldn't look at them, follow them or touch them back.